Jeremy Corbyn met Guy Fawkes just days before Gunpowder Plot, claims Daily Mail

Satire from the Daily Squat: Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn might have met up with Guy Fawkes just days before his failed terrorist attack on parliament, according to the Daily Mail.

The Daily Mail is claiming that Jeremy Corbyn met with the terrorist shortly before the attack and may have even provided Fawkes with details on the layout of parliament.

As evidence, the Daily Mail has produced a crudely Photoshopped image, as well as several damning quotes from right-wing figures.

‘This is deeply concerning, if true. And it almost certainly is,’ said Boris Johnson.

[Read full article on the Daily Squat…]

Anonymous artist ‘Wanksy’ draws penises on potholes to make cash-strapped councils fix them

From Bored Panda: After another cyclist friend was injured by potholes, Wanksy, an artist from Greater Manchester, England, decided to act. He used washable paint to draw penises around potholes in his neighbourhood, and suddenly, they were repaired in 48 hours.

“People will drive over the same pothole and forget about it.

“Suddenly you draw something amusing around it, everyone sees it and it either gets reported or fixed.”

[Read full article on Bored Panda…]

Mamma May-a: Theresa May sings the hits of ABBA

Viral comedy social video (creator unknown): “Are you looking for the perfect gift for your loved one this Christmas? Then why not try Mamma May-a – Theresa May sings the hits of ABBA!

“I can dance… I can jive… Messing around with your lives… End free movement! Stockpile beans! I am the Dancing Queen!

“Join Theresa as she travels the world, serenading emerging economies!

“Gimme gimme gimme some trade after Brexit! We can lower standards and we’ll deregulate! Gimme gimme gimme some trade after Brexit! Do away with tariffs and we’ll be your best mate!”

#abba Tribute by Theresa

Posted by Vote SNP on Friday, October 5, 2018

ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’ now ruined forever

Satire from NewsThump: A highly popular song has been ruined by a deeply unpopular person, according to reports today.

In what was apparently an attempt at self-deprecation, Theresa May entered the stage at the Conservative Party Conference to ABBA’s classic tune ‘Dancing Queen’, consigning the song to remain on the shelves of households across the country forever due to the association she has now created.

Livid ABBA fan Simon Williams told us, “When I turned on the TV to hear the Prime Minister’s speech and heard the opening bars of that disco classic my heart sank through the floor.”

[Read full satirical article on NewsThump website…]

Here’s some of what you missed at Conservative Party Conference…

#ToryConf18: Couldn't make it to Conservative Party Conference this week in Birmingham? Here's some of what you…

Posted by Stop The Tories Channel on Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Theresa May drag queens: ‘We’ve dined out on her leopard-print heels for years!’

From The Guardian: “Theresa was the obvious baddie. It was 2016, just after Brexit and the departure of David Cameron. I thought: ‘We finally have a real Conservative villain.’ She’s very Dickensian, there’s something of Scrooge about her. I could picture her creeping up the stairs, candle in hand, swiping coal off people.

“As time has gone on, I think she’s weakened, what with all the U-turns. Now I play her as a more subservient character, a very shaken woman who jumps when someone rings the doorbell. The act is her tearing herself to shreds. She’ll say something then contradict herself. The whole show is based on things she’s said and done, like allowing Boris Johnson to just walk out of the cabinet of his own accord.

“She may not have been a gift to the country, but she’s definitely been a gift for the drag community.”

[Read full article on Guardian website…]

UK can’t understand why May announcing vote-winning plan to slash corporation tax quietly in New York

Satire from NewsThump: Britain cannot see why Theresa May is announcing plans to slash corporation tax, sure to be acclaimed by ordinary voters, discreetly in New York.

May has inexplicably pledged that Britain will become a low tax paradise for struggling multinationals at a business forum across the Atlantic, instead of in front of cheering crowds in her London home.

Delivery driver Wayne Hayes said: “The biggest problem facing Britain today is our ridiculously high corporation tax of 19 per cent. That’s why so many of them have to avoid it. But instead of announcing this hugely popular common sense policy in the UK, perhaps to kickstart an election campaign, May seems to be doing it almost as though she’s trying to keep it quiet.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s privately proposing more hit policies, like contracting US healthcare providers to run the NHS or abolishing all employment rights, to billionaires without realising they’re what we all want to hear.”

[Read full satirical article on NewsThump…]

“If the economy’s so f**king great, why I am skint?” says Britain

Satire from The Daily Mash: Britons are struggling to understand why good economic news keeps coming out but their personal finances are still up shit creek.

After wages rose faster than expected, many people are wondering when all the positive trends will lead to something actually useful like being able to buy a house.

[Read full satirical article on The Daily Mash…]

Theresa May displays her dancing “skills” in South Africa

Video from ITV News: Theresa May, er, joins in with the dancing during a visit to a South African school.

Theresa May dances with schoolchildren in South Africa

Moves like… May 💃🕺 Theresa May shows off her dancing skills on a visit to a school in South Africa. Read more: https://bit.ly/2PItH7F

Posted by ITV News on Tuesday, August 28, 2018

NHS hoping to recover after removal of malignant lump

Satire from NewsThump: The National Health Service is hoping it can make a full recovery after having a dangerous lump removed in an emergency operation this week.

It had appeared touch-and-go for the UK’s much-loved public organisation for a number of years, but following the successful operation it is hoped there could be a brighter future for the much-beloved health care system.

“I already feel so much better in myself knowing that the cancerous fucker is gone,” said the NHS.

“My doctors had told me that the problems were spreading at an alarming rate, and they were seeing symptoms everywhere.

[Read full satirical article on NewsThump…]

Have I Got News For You on Arlene Foster’s cash machine…

From Have I Got News for You:

As it’s revealed 300 cash machines are closing every month, Arlene Foster confirms that hers is still in perfect working order:

Posted by Have I Got News For You on Friday, June 29, 2018

Theresa May holds up Belgium football shirt in PR gaffe on day of England’s World Cup match

From the Guardian: At the start of a summit of EU leaders in Brussels, the British prime minister was ambushed by the Belgian prime minister, Charles Michel, who presented her with a Belgian football team top ahead of the England v Belgium World Cup game.

Theresa May held up the strip, before realising that doing so might be a PR gaffe, and appeared to attempt to hide it away. Unfortunately her fellow leaders pointed to the TV monitors showing her reaction live to a packed hall of reporters.

[Read full article on Guardian website…]

Jeremy Corbyn owns Theresa May at PMQs over Boris’s Trump comments

Theresa May is owned by Jeremy Corbyn, and the look on her face is highly amusing!

This is what they called 'being owned' 🔥🔥🔥

This is what they called 'being owned' 🔥🔥🔥

Posted by Owen Jones on Wednesday, June 13, 2018

David Schneider on DUP hypocrisy…

DUP on Brexit: How dare you contemplate Northern Ireland being different from the rest of the UK!DUP on abortion: How dare you not allow Northern Ireland to be different from the rest of the UK!

Posted by David Schneider on Monday, May 28, 2018

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