Comedy

Welcome to the Comedy section of #StopTheTories Channel. Here you’ll find funny (real) news about the Tories, satirical articles, comedy anti-Tory memes, comedy videos, and comedy tweets.

Funny news

Anonymous artist ‘Wanksy’ draws penises on potholes to make cash-strapped councils fix them

From Bored Panda: After another cyclist friend was injured by potholes, Wanksy, an artist from Greater Manchester, England, decided to act. He used washable paint to draw penises around potholes in his neighbourhood, and suddenly, they were repaired in 48 hours.

“People will drive over the same pothole and forget about it.

“Suddenly you draw something amusing around it, everyone sees it and it either gets reported or fixed.”

[Read full article on Bored Panda…]

Here’s some of what you missed at Conservative Party Conference…

#ToryConf18: Couldn't make it to Conservative Party Conference this week in Birmingham? Here's some of what you…

Posted by Stop The Tories Channel on Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Theresa May drag queens: ‘We’ve dined out on her leopard-print heels for years!’

From The Guardian: “Theresa was the obvious baddie. It was 2016, just after Brexit and the departure of David Cameron. I thought: ‘We finally have a real Conservative villain.’ She’s very Dickensian, there’s something of Scrooge about her. I could picture her creeping up the stairs, candle in hand, swiping coal off people.

“As time has gone on, I think she’s weakened, what with all the U-turns. Now I play her as a more subservient character, a very shaken woman who jumps when someone rings the doorbell. The act is her tearing herself to shreds. She’ll say something then contradict herself. The whole show is based on things she’s said and done, like allowing Boris Johnson to just walk out of the cabinet of his own accord.

“She may not have been a gift to the country, but she’s definitely been a gift for the drag community.”

[Read full article on Guardian website…]

[View all funny news items…]

Satirical articles

Jeremy Corbyn met Guy Fawkes just days before Gunpowder Plot, claims Daily Mail

Satire from the Daily Squat: Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn might have met up with Guy Fawkes just days before his failed terrorist attack on parliament, according to the Daily Mail.

The Daily Mail is claiming that Jeremy Corbyn met with the terrorist shortly before the attack and may have even provided Fawkes with details on the layout of parliament.

As evidence, the Daily Mail has produced a crudely Photoshopped image, as well as several damning quotes from right-wing figures.

‘This is deeply concerning, if true. And it almost certainly is,’ said Boris Johnson.

[Read full article on the Daily Squat…]

ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’ now ruined forever

Satire from NewsThump: A highly popular song has been ruined by a deeply unpopular person, according to reports today.

In what was apparently an attempt at self-deprecation, Theresa May entered the stage at the Conservative Party Conference to ABBA’s classic tune ‘Dancing Queen’, consigning the song to remain on the shelves of households across the country forever due to the association she has now created.

Livid ABBA fan Simon Williams told us, “When I turned on the TV to hear the Prime Minister’s speech and heard the opening bars of that disco classic my heart sank through the floor.”

[Read full satirical article on NewsThump website…]

UK can’t understand why May announcing vote-winning plan to slash corporation tax quietly in New York

Satire from NewsThump: Britain cannot see why Theresa May is announcing plans to slash corporation tax, sure to be acclaimed by ordinary voters, discreetly in New York.

May has inexplicably pledged that Britain will become a low tax paradise for struggling multinationals at a business forum across the Atlantic, instead of in front of cheering crowds in her London home.

Delivery driver Wayne Hayes said: “The biggest problem facing Britain today is our ridiculously high corporation tax of 19 per cent. That’s why so many of them have to avoid it. But instead of announcing this hugely popular common sense policy in the UK, perhaps to kickstart an election campaign, May seems to be doing it almost as though she’s trying to keep it quiet.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s privately proposing more hit policies, like contracting US healthcare providers to run the NHS or abolishing all employment rights, to billionaires without realising they’re what we all want to hear.”

[Read full satirical article on NewsThump…]

[View all satirical articles…]

Comedy memes

Comedy videos

Mamma May-a: Theresa May sings the hits of ABBA

Viral comedy social video (creator unknown): “Are you looking for the perfect gift for your loved one this Christmas? Then why not try Mamma May-a – Theresa May sings the hits of ABBA!

“I can dance… I can jive… Messing around with your lives… End free movement! Stockpile beans! I am the Dancing Queen!

“Join Theresa as she travels the world, serenading emerging economies!

“Gimme gimme gimme some trade after Brexit! We can lower standards and we’ll deregulate! Gimme gimme gimme some trade after Brexit! Do away with tariffs and we’ll be your best mate!”

#abba Tribute by Theresa

Posted by Vote SNP on Friday, October 5, 2018

Jonathan Pie: “This country spends millions papering over poverty with flammable cladding”… and it’s a metaphor for Tory ideology

Jonathan Pie on Tory Britain: “This country spends millions on social housing. Not building social housing or making it safe, clean and habitable, but where we spend millions papering over poverty with flammable cladding.”

Papering Over Poverty

Is austerity putting lives in danger?

Posted by Jonathan Pie on Sunday, June 18, 2017

“If that isn’t a metaphor for what this government’s ideology has done to our country, I don’t know what is.

“Cladding over poverty, so that posh people simply don’t have to look at it. Not in any way improving poor people’s lives, just ensuring that posh people don’t have to look at shitty houses. Priority #1.

“For an extra £2 you can make each section of cladding fireproof. ‘What’s the fucking point of that?’ Says it all, doesn’t it. Cladding over poverty, a veneer of compassion, a dangerous, sub-standard, least-amount-of-hassle-possible facade, to ensure the rich don’t have to acknowledge the existence or realities of being poor.

“We don’t need to make social housing better, we just need to make it look better. Because then property prices in the area will increase, and that is good for our economy, which is good for everyone… But mainly good for people in nice houses. Continue Reading…

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Comedy tweets

A selection of anti-Tory comedy tweets.

On Twitter? Follow our comedy account @LaughAtTories.