Jonathan Pie’s rant on #StrongAndStable: 7 million views and counting

Strong & Unstable

This reporter is strong but unstable.

Posted by Jonathan Pie on Sunday, May 7, 2017

Jonathan Pie says: “Even the Tories don’t think we’d be stupid enough to buy ‘Things Can Only Get Better’, cos they just can’t really, can they?”

“In the 24 months that the Tories have had a majority, they called for a public debate on the EU which was fought so appallingly and cynically that we’re now out of the EU. Strong and stable!”

“In 24 months they’ve reneged on virtually every promise they gave to the Scottish people during their referendum, which could finally lead to the eventual collapse of the United Kingdom. Strong and stable!”

“After promising he wouldn’t, Cameron resigns, leaving Theresa May, a Remainer who is now staking her premiership on getting us a Hard Brexit. It’s great to have someone of conviction at the helm, isn’t it? A Government which is currently being investigated for electoral fraud on a massive scale, by multiple police forces covering 29 constituencies. Meaning they’re either incompetent or criminal when it comes to finance. Strong and stable!”

“Playing chicken with the EU just to make yourself look hard. ‘Let’s just whip up a diplomatic shitstorm to win a few votes!’ Shame on you!”

“Strong on health? The NHS is fucked. Simply, fucked. Whereas 6, 7 years ago, it was in pretty good shape.”

“Stable on the economy? They’ve managed to increase the national debt by an impressive £700 billion. It was weak and desperate, how quick she was to jump on Trump’s dick. Merkel did it the classy way, she got ignored by him. But you Theresa, ‘Do you wanna come meet the Queen?'”

“You look weak when you sell arms to Saudi Arabia, whose women’s rights, gay rights, human rights record is a disgrace. Not too hot on human rights, are you?”

“Strong and stable on public safety. Closing fire stations, privatising prisons, police numbers down by 14%. Workers’ rights? Fuck ’em! The Tories’ disdain for the unemployed is well known, but their open disdain for disabled people and their carers, that’s a new one on me.”

“Strong and stable futures for our children? This is where it gets really good. Child poverty through the roof. Cuts to education, to the tune of £3 billion. Here’s a strong and stable Tory proposal: Child Protection Services to be opened up to private firms whilst abolishing 80 years’ worth of child protection laws.”

“How do they get away with it? It’s good PR. Theresa May recently hired the guy who did PR for The Sun newspaper. So the guy that does PR for the Tories is the guy that used to do PR for people who hacked dead children’s phones. It’s a perfect match!”

“Food banks! When did that even become a thing? Well as Theresa helpfully pointed out, people use food banks for various reasons, but mainly because they can’t afford to eat, Theresa. They can’t afford to eat! People living on the streets has doubled under the Tories. Housing crisis? ‘What housing crisis? We’ve built loads of houses!’ Yeah and most of them are fucking mansions!”

“You’ve shut down Domestic Violence refuge centres, you’ve decimated mental health services, you’ve slashed legal aid. Yeah, strong and stable, strong and stable.”

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